Open Bags of Potato Chips

My adventure is less than a week away. I'm glad to be getting out of here. Living with my mother and her boyfriend is really getting to me. It is a toxic environment - physically and emotionally - and I think both have taken their toll on my body.

They both smoke... Jamie chain smokes. I can't breath. I've been breathing in so much smoke, I'm sure I will go through withdrawl when I get out of here.

These people eat crap all the time. This house is never without ice cream, doughnuts, potato chips, dead animal flesh or bland white bread products. I can only do so much to resist. How can I walk away from an open bag of potato chips? I've been eating like shit.


I've gained weight and my digestive system has gone to hell. Half of it is the toxic overload of the food I've been eating and half of it is the stress of living here. My stomach always hurts. Sometimes I think I eat just to stop the pain in my stomach for a little while.

I have fantasies of my own apartment.... my own kitchen. When I'm in the store I can resist buying potato chips (the bags are always closed) I won't buy the toxic nutrient devoided, white bread products any more. Nestle products will be forbidden. I won't have to listen to my mother saying, "You're such a fanatic." There will be no dead cows in my kitchen. "They kill the cows anyways." I will buy can after can of artichoke hearts. "You spend money like you have it." Fuck it... I'll buy fresh artichokes!!! ... and avocados... and asparagus... and raspberries. I would buy vegetables that I never heard of.

There will be NO smoking in my apartment. And God help anyone I catch smoking outside my apartment door. I'll be like, "You want to smoke, you crazy suicidal bastard!!!" Then I would set their hair on fire. I would do time for assault, but then when I got back, no one would dare smoke near me. Then I could breath clean air. Ahhhhh.

I would go out and buy a houseplant. I would be responsible for another life. I would feel so adult.


Speaking of being an adult... I would go out and buy small appliances. I have fantasies of 12 horse power food processors. Weeeee!! I could puree bricks.

In reality... when I get to Portland I have to FIND and apartment, and FIND a job... so I can buy brick pureeing food processors.

Embrace the new.